So here I am in the midst of getting Going 2 Natural off the ground and I look around my house, flop into my desk chair and wonder on how the hell am I going to do all this? I am a wife, mother (of teenagers), in school to get my second bachelors, work a side job on the weekends and still trying to have time to finish my novel. Wait and then there is sleep! I forgot about sleep. But Going 2 Natural is a must in my eyes!
The bottom line is I have no choice. I feel like my children and my children’s children depend on me. You and I, that’s who they look to. See the world is a beautiful place filled with wonder and miracles but it also holds a dark black hole and unless we start to fill that hole with light and love, it will just keep growing bigger and bigger, spreading over the world until it consumes us.
I knew for years as everyone does, eat right, exercise, don’t eat a lot of carbs, blah, blah, blah, but I was young at the time and my body knew how to bounce back, yeah well not so much anymore.
Coming up on 40, I started to feel chest pains and knee pain, it was foreign and scary. Then one morning I woke up and my left ear was ringing. When I say ringing, I mean it was so loud at times it was hard to make out words that were being spoken to me, especially when it was from another room. It became worse before it got better. I felt like I was in my own prison and no one knew how it felt to hear such a constant disturbing sound for weeks at a time which turned in months.
I started to have anxiety, sleep deprivation, (yes it was so loud it kept me up or woke me up) and I was plain old depressed. Snapping at my children, crying for no reason and didn’t have the will to do anything else but concentrate on this horrible ringing in my ear.
Well you know the saying, “it can always get worse”, and well, it did. I woke up one day and started to feel vertigo right after I ate breakfast. For those who don’t know what vertigo feels like, it’s like being drunk without drinking, or riding a roller coaster but really your feet are planted on solid ground. It makes you feel unsteady and out of control, almost as if you are the eye of a tornado but have no control in its force. It is just plain old scary. This feeling lasted for three days straight until I finally could not stand it anymore and went back to the doctor. Well my doctor at the time proceeded to tell me it was a deviated septum. Now this is after we did weeks of different antibiotics, steroids and Xanax.
He said I needed surgery ASAP and it would stop all of these symptoms. Now I am not too into someone cutting me open especially though my face, but I was desperate. My body felt like it was falling apart. I would absolutely do just about anything to stop feeling this way, anything to feel somewhat normal. He gave me yet another prescription for Xanax which was becoming my best friend. I did not over use it but it was there when I couldn’t stand the feeling of vertigo anymore and I felt like I would lose it if I didn’t get some rest. But regardless of the amount of use, the truth was I was dependent on this drug.
As I left the doctors feeling some relief. He figured it out! I would have the surgery and Bam! I would be better. And then all of a sudden I felt like a ton of bricks hit my stomach as a huge knot of trembling anxiety formed as I was turning out of the driveway.
I would have to be put to sleep.
This has always been a fear, although I have been put to sleep before, the more I grow to find life precious the more I don’t like the thought of another human being controlling my sleep to the point where you are able to cut into my body and I am not able to feel it. I mean if it is life or death surgery I would then have no choice, but was a deviated septum really causing all this?
That night I sat with my husband and cried. I felt like something bad would happen if I went through with the surgery, my gut told me to stop. And my husband told me to listen to it. I am so glad I did.
After I decided to go see two other specialists for second opinions and just like my gut was telling me… I did not need the surgery; in fact my septum was far from deviated. I was so happy and then so damn angry. The other doctors told me it’s a condition (they don’t have a name for) that is caused from some sort of trauma to the Cochlea but they don’t know how or why it happens. It might get better it might not. Period. That is all they could tell me. They said it would just take time, anywhere from nine months to a year before the trauma would be healed. My new doctor took me off the Xanax, gave me a very low dose of Valium to take when needed and sent me on my way.
But all I could think about was how dare this man take such a risk with me and my body and not even be remotely correct. I was pissed. He had me on several different antibiotics, steroids and Xanax for long periods of time while being treated by him. I was his little guinea pig.
I decided to sit with my feelings for days before I acted on them. And then my husband and I started to read. My husband was finding articles linking gluten and GMOs to some of these symptoms. So I stopped all gluten and went completely organic. Within in two weeks, my vertigo stopped, I didn’t need the Valium, and the ringing minimized. It was a miracle. But what I didn’t realize is how much money it took for us to eat this way. At first I saw it as a burden but as my husband and I did more and more research we saw it as a necessity, for all of us!
And I saw it as a challenge.
The more I researched food, factory farming, beauty and household products, the more I saw the need to strive to go back to the basics. Strive to live a life closer to nature, and so my organic lifestyle began.
I remember sitting on the floor of my living room while my husband was on the couch flipping through the T.V. channels. Complaining about how much food and natural products were and how I should try to start a co-op network of people who are struggling with going 2 natural and need solutions to these expensive healthy alternatives. I asked my hubby what a good name would be. He said “you already got one”, Going 2 Natural.
We are now a group of 16 diverse individuals from across the United States and Canada (and growing) dedicated to the Going 2 Natural journey with all of its trials and triumphs. We are building a global co-op support group dedicated to spreading the true essence of the organic lifestyle and how to do it in the most economical way possible.
So as I sit at my desk and wonder how the hell am I going to pull all of this off, I smile because I now know it’s not a question of me pulling it off but a question of how far can WE go. WE are in this together. This is an awesome group of people and I am proud to be part of the Going 2 Natural Team. I am so excited to be taking this journey will all of you.
To success, love and happiness…
Originally published 6/5/2014